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trisha juliana lazaroo
8th november 1991
eurasian
catholic
Sunday, April 25, 2010

I hate the fact that we are drifting apart. At first, I admit, I was insecure and screwed up. However after thinking about oth, I felt much better and felt stupid. But after that, you were feeling down and I had no idea why. I already told you that I wasn't insecure, but you still weren't happy.

I hate the fact that we ended the week as such. And now, I am only able to see you next weekend. I have a feeling that this situation would be much worse come next week.

I hate the fact that we are suffering from a lack of communication. I feel like I've not spoken to you in a long time. Due to this lack of communication, we are drifting apart.

I hate this.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Gosh am I tired. This is one of those times when I overthink things. My mind just tends to wonder and think of the 'what if'. Not the good 'what if' but the bad 'what if'. At times, I just detest myself for thinking as such, for feeling as such. Its just the stupid side of me putting things in my head making me feel afraid. Afraid of the bad 'what if' actually coming true. I won't be able to stand there watching the bad 'what if' unfold right in front of my eyes. Its unbearable. If the situation arises, I won't be able to look at you the same again.

Well, eventually this emotional phase of my night will pass and just know that I trust you.

P.S.: I really hate myself for feeling this way.