trisha

2011-04-23T13:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder,
Does this not mean anything to you?
And I ponder,
Don't I mean anything to you?
 
And so I think over,
How do you do it?
How do you move on?
How do you not care?
 
I am holding on,
Holding on for dear life. 
But this cant be a one sided thing,
If not what's the point of trying. 
 
Even though it hurts,
I've sucked it up.
There's only so much I can take,
I've reached my maximum, the rest will be fake. 
 
Everything you've thrown at me,
I've taken it all.
There are bound to be times I fall,
Of which you just leave me be,
Instead of picking me up.
It crushes me, oh yes, it crushes me. 
 
I've tried,
Tried to change to make you happy
Tried to change to make us work. 
But it isn't enough. 
 
Nothing is enough.
Nothing is good enough.
Nothing I do is good enough.
I am not good enough. 
 
Things you don't do with me,
You do with them.
You make excuses when asked by me,
But you're obliging Tim when asked by them. 
 
After 6 years of asking you to go with me,
You make all sorts of excuses.
But the moment she asks you to go with her and her family,
You say a big YES.
And the picture wasn't pleasant,
Cos her boyfriend was missing,
And you were there to take his spot. 
And I think so far, this hurts the most.
You've really outdone yourself.
 
You told me you couldn't live without me. 
You said you love me.
You promised me always & forever.
Do you, did you mean it? Or were they all lies?
 
Do I come before your friends?
Cos I can't see it.
Am I the most important person in your life?
Cos I can't feel it.
 
Its sad how you can choose your friends over me. 
It hurts that you make them seem more important than me. 
It breaks my heart to know how little I mean to you.
And it breaks me to know that this 6 years meant nothing, nothing to you.
 
You said I'm square
And liked the smell of my hair.
But I'm not thinking squarely,
It's you who've crossed the line, undoubtedly. 
 
You made this an ultimatum,
Where its your way or the highway
I've given in all I can,
Yet it's still coming to an end.
 
What you don't know is that...
I want you
I want us
I miss you
I miss us
 
I'm willing to do anything to make this work,
But are you?
Cos now you're choosing your friends over me,
And its crushing me. 
 
And now, it hurts.
It really does.
But I would give anything up,
Just to be with you in your arms telling me we'll get through this...
 
Together.
Because we're always & forever.
Because we're Haley & Nathan.
Because we belong together.

2011-04-02T23:17:00.002+08:00

You know how much I hate that company. HATE, is the word. And yet, you're once again going back to them. We've had numerous fights about the work place and the people there, but time and again you go back there? What so good about that place? You work with bitches and assholes. Does that make it a good and cool working environment to work at?

Next, you've always said "the weekends are our time." and soon, you'll be working during weekends so I guess it won't be our time anymore and that you'll just work "our" weekends away. When I find part-time jobs, I try not to touch our weekends and find Monday to Friday jobs. But you don't bother at all. That time when I had to do my project during the weekends, you were not happy about it cos you said it took up our time and my group and I should have better managed our time. And now you are going to work all through the weekends. So when would you have the time to spend time/go out with me?

Last time you told me that you'd talk to me about this company, if you would ever go back and work for them again. But guess what?! Obviously you didn't even bother to mention it to me. I know we not be together now, but it would still be nice to be kept in the loop. When I had a job offer, I immediately told you about it. And now when you are going for an interview for this fucked up company, you don't even bother to let me know until I offered you to work with me tomorrow. You're just a screwed up asshole. And to think that I was really hoping that we'd get back together but now with "that" back in the picture, I don't think we'll be able to work out.

2011-03-26T00:36:00.002+08:00

It's been close to a year since I've last blogged. Well, I just really need to vent everything out. How I wish someone would be there to listen to me go on and on and on and give valid advice. Oh well.

It's frustrating how you are so picky and choosy with food. If that's the case, then I'll be the one suffering considering that I eat practically everything and you, the fussy pot, don't. Wherever I wanna eat at, I have to crack my head to see if there is something that you would eat there. And if there is nothing that you like at that place, I would just have to give in and go to a different eatery of which caters to you and adapt to find something different to eat, despite whatever cravings I may have. Now when I type it out, it sounds childish, silly and petty, but that's how I feel.

Another thing is you are so ungrateful. I wanted to treat you to dinner for passing, however when I suggested the place we were gonna eat at, you wanted to eat somewhere else. I mean I was the one paying and I thought you would like that place considering you always talked about bringing me to a restaurant of such. I even decided what to order prior to telling you where we were going. Eventually, you didn't even want to eat dinner.

To add on, we have been arguing over the same topic over and over again for months! When will it ever stop? I'm so sick and tired of hearing the same argument over and over again.

You always ask me "what have you done for this relationship?" Well, I can tell you that I've done things in this relationship in order for it to stay afloat. Unlike you, I do not talk about these things which I do for the relationship openly. And when the going gets tough, you just tell me that you can't take it anymore? Oh please, I'm the one who can't take this shit anymore, but I just suck it up and continue working for this relationship. You know what, just forget it.

2010-06-20T23:08:00.003+08:00

I am so frustrated. I mean all I want is for you to notice me, notice my achievements, notice me basically. I just want your approval. Any yet, it is so difficult to give that to me. When I do well in something, I just want you to acknowledge it, to show me that I did good, that you took notice. But you don't even comment on it.

Currently, I think that the both of you are ridiculous. Yall are over reacting. I am not in the wrong in this case, you guys are the ones who owe me an apology. Okay, maybe I do need to apologize as well, but so do yall. Everything I do is wrong, whereas everything they do is correct. "Wow look she has a stable job, a boyfriend who can drive, her own car." Fuck just stop it already will you! We are not them and we can never ever be them. So just stop comparing and hinting and just face the fact that we are who we are and can never ever be them.

2010-04-25T19:37:00.002+08:00

I hate the fact that we are drifting apart. At first, I admit, I was insecure and screwed up. However after thinking about oth, I felt much better and felt stupid. But after that, you were feeling down and I had no idea why. I already told you that I wasn't insecure, but you still weren't happy.

I hate the fact that we ended the week as such. And now, I am only able to see you next weekend. I have a feeling that this situation would be much worse come next week.

I hate the fact that we are suffering from a lack of communication. I feel like I've not spoken to you in a long time. Due to this lack of communication, we are drifting apart.

I hate this.

2010-04-05T00:49:00.003+08:00

Gosh am I tired. This is one of those times when I overthink things. My mind just tends to wonder and think of the 'what if'. Not the good 'what if' but the bad 'what if'. At times, I just detest myself for thinking as such, for feeling as such. Its just the stupid side of me putting things in my head making me feel afraid. Afraid of the bad 'what if' actually coming true. I won't be able to stand there watching the bad 'what if' unfold right in front of my eyes. Its unbearable. If the situation arises, I won't be able to look at you the same again.

Well, eventually this emotional phase of my night will pass and just know that I trust you.

P.S.: I really hate myself for feeling this way.

2010-03-20T13:52:00.001+08:00

I love you Baby boy!
Get well soon!
Take care of your nose, afterall you just went for a nose job. HAHAHA!!! :)

2010-03-18T14:46:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a doubtful day. I allowed my feelings and thoughts to get in the way of my rational thinking. I kept on telling myself that I was foolish for feeling that way and yet I do not feel foolish. I believe what I felt and thought was appropriate. It made sense. I told you to put yourself in my shoes, only then did you perfectly understand where I was coming from. I know those things are things that you cannot control, in fact it is beyond your control, but is it wrong for me to feel as such? I don't think so.

Each time I say "You don't understand", I don't mean it. I know you get where I am coming from, I know you understand how I feel but at times, I just need to keep on saying that you do not understand me despite knowing you do. It just gives me a sense of security, or basically it just gives me a nice feeling knowing that you understand me.

Recently, plenty of different emotions seem to flow right through me. Emotions that make me emotional. I just need to be assured.

2010-03-02T21:58:00.001+08:00

Worried. Fuck.

2010-02-26T23:35:00.003+08:00

Watched Dear John yesterday! As usual, Channing Tatum is as hot as ever. Ironic that we watched Dear John on the day before you are enlisted.

Well woke up at 7 this morning to get ready to meet love. Now you are in Pulau Tekong, take care!! Though I know that you won't be reading this post, but who cares! I want to write what I'm thinking here in my own personal space. :) Okay back to the topic, I miss you already. 13 more days babe, we'll survive. I hope. I wanted to take photos with love today before he went in but my phone was running low on battery because I smartly didn't charge it last night and the end result: no photos of us before you enter army. Fuck.

I love you my bald boyfriend!!!!!!!

Thanks Marissa for meeting me today. And thanks for the photos. Love it!! :)

P.S. I love your geeky glasses love. Makes you look cute! :)

Well now off I go to read Day 1 note you left me on your laptop! Its really sweet that you left me mini notes for all 14 days of confinement until you book out. Heehee! I love you so much, you know that!

2010-01-27T22:41:00.002+08:00

I want to win tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert! :(

2010-01-23T23:14:00.004+08:00

Hitch & Chicken Rice,
Just like our 1st date. :)
I love you Baby!

2010-01-11T22:46:00.004+08:00

Well, didn't go to school today but headed to NSRCC with the girls + two boys. The weather was lovely for a swim or a tan but other than that, it was a bit too hot. The whole day, I was practically chasing buses. First the stupid shuttle bus, then the damn 34. And I missed both buses.

School is on tomorrow, and I am dreading it. Okay, I just want to stay home and read my book with Tim right beside me. Projects are massive, like really massive. Hate it. I feel like I have so much to do. I think I need to start planning my time and doing my work.

Hate it so much, you have no idea!

I love you Baby! :)

2010-01-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

I miss the romantic times we shared,
Those slow walks in the park,
Those romantic dinners,
Those days when you never ever fail to make me smile.

This being a brand new year,
Let's just forget the past,
Let's keep moving on,
And don't ever look back.

Please.

2009-12-14T19:44:00.002+08:00

My blog is dead.
My computer is so stupid.
Thanks love for lending me your laptop. :) Love you muchhh!
I want to eat ice cream now.
Oh and I want to go swimming! :)

2009-11-12T16:45:00.006+08:00

Hohoho. I feel so happy that I just completed my group blog. :)

My birthday has come and gone, and it was awesome. Thanks dears for the surprises! :) all 18 balloons, with 24 donuts, 2 macaroons and a diasy. Heehee. ^^
Thanks love for the awesome high tea buffet! It was really so good, like so so good. I loved the pasta and the desserts! Okay thinking of it I am getting hungry. Thanks for the rose and the Famous Amos cookies too. And not forgetting the hand sanitizer and the oh-so-fantastic MAC & CHEESE!!! :) Heehee! ^^ I told you I did not forget.
Happy belated Anniversary Love! :)
And thank you everyone for all the birthday wishes. :)

Okay so today I did my nails with Simple, Joey and Vanessa. It's so pretty!

I am loving the weather today so cool and so christmas-y.

Currently, Tiffy is playing Christmas carols and I really feel in the Christmas spirit with the weather being as such and the smell of freshly pained nails. I just love this feeling.

Okay bye. Am going to bath then start on my BCS online work. After that, I will start reading!!!

I love you bbyboy! :) ♥

2009-11-02T23:00:00.001+08:00

America's most prettiest towns:

Deadwood, South Dakota
I just love the way the town is. It is just like what I imagined and pictured in my head while reading my storybooks. It is said that this town is a place for outlaws to reside, just like my storybook!!! Quiet laid back town, where everyone knows everyone, with pubs and mini shops all lined up along the road. Hmmm, I love it! I want to live in this town with Tim and a dog!!!

Spring City, Utah

I can just imagine this place being a small Bed and Breakfast. It gives me this homey feeling where I feel so welcome. And I can just imagine myself running this Bed and Breakfast. Heehee.

Dillon, Montana

I love the cosy-ness this town gives me. It feels so warm and cosy. I can imagine myself living here. It reminds me of a resort like structure. I can see myself having BBQ in the backyard every Sunday, with neighbours all gathered together.

Haahaha. Okay I can stop dreaming now. Off I go to call TimTam. :) Love you lah baby!!!! Gonna call you like NOW! <3

2009-10-25T21:45:00.002+08:00

Second week of school starts tomorrow. I am not prepared for the fast paced life with so many assignments piled up in front of me.

I screwed up, BAD. And I know it. I'm sorry for screwing up.

You ruined everything. You don't know how difficult it is for me to plan something and you had to ruin it. You just had to open your mouth and ruin everything. I don't feel like ever planning a surprise for you again. Screw your surprise. I will just be there for your dinner and nothing more. Go and plan something with your friends on the weekend before your day cos I'm cancelling whatever plans I made with you previously.

2009-10-18T22:13:00.002+08:00

School starts tomorrow. Am dreading it, really dreading it.
All I want to do is to snuggle in bed with a good book and Tim.
Going to school at 9.30am tomorrow to drop subjects. So bloody early okay.
Marissa is going to teach me French once she learns it!
Goodbye for now.

I ♥ you.

2009-10-04T22:32:00.002+08:00

Eating Kinder Joy now. :)
I am a happy person with my cup of water, my storyboook and my phone. The only thing missing now is Tim. However, the only time I can see Love is on Wednesday.
I hate it when plans are neither here nor there. Honestly, you guys suck at planning and confirming details.
Outing with poly girls tomorrow.
My date with Tim on Thursday! :)
Okay bye all.

2009-10-02T00:59:00.001+08:00

I am grateful to not have friends who are real jackasses. Sadly, you have made some in your life. But fret not, because you will always have me. (And I'm not a jackass). :)

2009-09-30T22:17:00.002+08:00

People change. Be it for the better or for the worse.
I changed and I think it is for the worse.
I hate myself for being as such.
I want to change back to my old self.
I hope I am able to change back to my old simple self.

2009-09-28T22:39:00.003+08:00

BACKSTREET BOYS CONCERT WAS AWESOME BEYOND AWESOMEEE!!!!!!
And now I have lost my voice.
Was so close yet so far from them.
Work is finally over.
F1 race was awesome as well.
Overall, everything was awesome.
Enjoyed myself much.
Now I would love to spend more time with Love.
See yall!

2009-09-22T23:21:00.001+08:00

Surprise!
But you runined it.
So goodbye!
:)

2009-09-21T17:37:00.002+08:00

Gonna meet Love in a bit to shop for Papa's present. In the mean time, I shall blog.

Went for the John Little's sale yesterday. Managed to get my court shoes though it was the last pair. Tomorrow, I will have to collect my uniform and pass for the three days of work during the F1 period.

Watched The Ugly Truth on Saturday. It was super funny. I laughed until I cried. Seriously. I think I laughed the loudest along with the Indian people sitting in front of Tim and me. Wanted to watch The Time Traveller's Wife but sadly they were not showing it anymore.

I want to watch Grey's Anatomy season 5. Can anybody tell me where I can watch it clearly and without waiting so long for it to load please. :)

2009-09-17T19:48:00.002+08:00

When I'm with yall, I feel out of place. I feel like I don't belong to the group. I'm the odd one out, so to speak.

I try so hard to get your approval. However, each time I feel as though you don't see my achievements and how hard I work. You scold me all the time and I seem to be the only one getting scolded by you. I try so damn hard but you don't see anything. I just want you to be proud of me but, I don't know.

Things aren't the way it's suppose to be. Are we ever going to get over this issue? Are we even going to make it through this entire thing?

I feel like shit. Is it even possible to overcome this fucked up thing?

Word of the day: Subjective

2009-09-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

You, Me, in our Little Happy World.

Everything will change,
But, love remains the same

2009-09-15T22:20:00.002+08:00

I am afraid.
Afraid to let my emotions out in the open where you can really see how pathetic I am.
Afraid to feel all the pain once I let my guard down.
A facade I am putting on to not let everyone see how soft and weak I truely am.
And I hate myself for that.

2009-09-15T13:44:00.004+08:00

Coward. Dead end. Fixture. Failure. Working. Unsuccessful. Weak. Helpless. Stupid. Ego. Fear. Pain. Screwed. Down hill. Changed. Different. Difficult. Love.

2009-09-14T23:52:00.004+08:00

What is happening to us?
We are going down hill.
You are fighting with me over everything,
Over reacting on the slightest things.
What ever happened to those happy times,
When we used to talk for hours
And laugh over everything.
Where problems existed but cease to affect us like how they do now.
What ever happened to us?
You are not happy even though you claim to be.

I just hope we are able to go back to the way things used to be.
Just You & Me living in our little Happy World.
Where everything seemed so right.

I think we've lost sight of what this whole entire thing actually means.
I think it is time for us to re-think this entire relationship.
To go back to the point of time,
When we were madly in love with each other
& enjoying each other's company.

I miss those times.
I miss spending countless of hours just being in your company.
I miss us not fighting.
I miss you.

2009-09-07T22:08:00.002+08:00

Tanning/swimming with the girls today. But the sun was a disappointment.
Surprised Tim at Yishun followed my dinner at Popeyes.
I'm happy with my planning skills! :)
I love you. Hope you enjoyed the surprise. <3

2009-09-06T19:55:00.005+08:00

Feb '09

I miss the KC clan. I miss the crazy gossips and the latest happenings. I missed out on this month's outing. :( Will be there for next month's outing for sure!!!

Hope tomorrow will be bright and sunny.

Outing with love on Tuesday. Wink. :)

Family chalet this weekend.

Tiffy's birthday on Saturday.

Goodbye all!

2009-09-03T23:06:00.002+08:00

Now you know how it feels when your plans are all screwed up.
Now you know how it feels when no one replies to your messages regarding your plans.
Now you know how it feels when practically everyone can't make it for your plans.
You are such a lousy planner. You can't plan for nuts.

I have nothing more to say. I just feel like laughing. What goes around comes around right. Sucker!!!

Sushi lunch with Tim tomorrow followed by an interview and KC class gathering.

I managed to complete reading Tuesdays with Morrie last night. A book with alot of meaning. It will definitely make you re-think your entire life.

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."
by Morrie Schwartz

2009-09-01T23:38:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Mommy! :)
Happy Teachers' Day to all teachers out there. (Including you my love)

Tim came back on Monday! Missed you much love. :) Managed to complete One Tree Hill season one. Now I'm waiting for season two to be ready! :)

I guess since the holidays are here, I shouldn't be wasting my time just catching up with shows right. So I will get some much needed reading done as well. Storybooks, here I come.

I feel like working to get some extra cash. But I feel so lazy to work. Tsk.

Okay goodbye now.

2009-08-28T23:55:00.003+08:00

I JUST SPOKE TO TIM!!!
I JUST SPOKE TO TIM!!!
ON MSN FOR HALF AN HOUR BUT STILL,
IT IS BETTER THAN NOTHING!! :) :) :) :)

2009-08-28T23:18:00.003+08:00

Tim is in Bangkok right this moment. I miss you love. Its alright, Monday will arrive in a blink of an eye right. Currently I am looking forward to Monday. ILY!! :)

Watched The Proposal yesterday with Tim. The show was so nice, funny and romantic I laughed like shit. And......... Ryan Reynolds is so hot. :) Like seriously, no joke. And Scarlett Johansson is one lucky girl.

But so am I...... because Tim is one great guy and I am one lucky girl. Wink. :) <3

Went out with the girls today. Went to Minds Cafe and around town.

Tomorrow, shopping with Tracy.

And now, my date with One Tree Hill. So goodbye.

2009-08-24T22:17:00.004+08:00

You can do it Trisha. Few more days and tadah! Its over.

POM was a killer. Had a stupid sotmachache during the paper. Tsk. Glad its over. Now is just F&B, IHT and RHT.
I can do it. I can do it.

M: dumb looking leafy vegetable
Hahahaha! The funniest way I have ever heard someone describ themselves.

Tim came over earlier and bought me chocolates. :)
B, after exams, we'll spend a alot of time together okay. <3

One Tree Hill this weekend!!!!!!!! :)
Tim is going off to Bangkok this weekend. :(
I will miss miss miss you love.

2009-08-23T23:28:00.003+08:00

I don't want to take the supp paper for bloody POM. Fuck.
Today is not a good day. It was a good day, but not anymore.
Marissa lets go to the 25th floor now.
I feel like crap.
I miss Shaheeraa and Tong.
I feel like screaming until I'm content.
I want you to stop thinking of the "what ifs" when they have not even occured yet. Fuck.
I feel like crying my heart out. Fuck.
You always over think and it gets to me. Fuck.

Marissa says:
this is bad, and they say studies help develop yourself
Fuck, develop what shit.

I think I should just go off now.

2009-08-22T22:48:00.001+08:00

POM, I love you.
NOT!

2009-08-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

One down, four more to go. I can survive through this, I hope.

Why can't Hollywood people come to Singapore to promote their movies. For instance, why couldn't the cast of G.I. Joe come to Singapore to promote their movie? Then I would actually be able to see Channing Tatum in real life. Omg like in real life!!! -Faints. However it will only happen in my dreams. So keep dreaming Trisha.

Unproductive day today. Sucks.

Waiting for Tim to call now. Bye.

2009-08-18T22:53:00.003+08:00

Exams suck.
I miss my boyfriend so much.
Fuck school.
Fuck exams.
I want the holidays to arrive once I snap my fingers.
-Snap
HA who am I kidding. Holidays are like 2 weeks away. I don't think I can wait that long.
F21 clothes came on Friday!! I'm a happy camper! :)

I want to live in a laid back town where everyone knows everyone. With Tim and I owning our own business, maybe a bakery. At night, we can just close the bakery and take a nice stroll by the beach or we can have a gathering at a neighbour's place.

I want to live in a storybook world.
Where life is so carefree, so relax.
Where problems just cease to exist.
Where the weather is so cool and sunny without being humid.
Where it is just Tim and me.

Well that is just me fantasising. Back to reality where it is me, my books and my boyfriend whom I miss so much.

Okay I shall shut up now and continue my farming on facebook. Goodbye all!

2009-08-13T22:00:00.002+08:00

You don't know how special you make me feel. All those little romantic things you do. I cannot contain my happiness. Oh how grateful I am to have you in my life. You always know the right words to say. You make my day. Thank you for the balloon. It really put a smile on my face, a huge ass one at that. :)

From the moment I saw you,
We made a connection with each other.
We started out as friends,
And now we are something more than just friends,
Something special.

I love you Timothy Francis! <3

On the side note, I feel like watching a romantic movie which will allow me to cry my eyes out.

2009-08-04T21:21:00.002+08:00

School has been so hectic recently. I am so glad we do not have anymore submissions to meet. Projects were driving me crazy and come to think of it, it is just the first semester of year one. How to tahan the rest of my three years in school? One last presentation on the 11th and it will all officially be over. A little while after the final presentation is the final exams. If only I had photographic memory. If only.

Went for NDP preview with Tim. <3 Photos will be up when I receive them and if I am not lazy. Went for KC class gathering at Sabrina's house last friday. :)

I feel that I am lacking in sleep. I can't wait to be on holidays. I would actually be able to catch up on my sleep. And and and I can surprise Tim at school on days I'm not lazy. :)

2009-07-19T19:09:00.001+08:00

Get well soon Mo. :) <3

2009-07-16T18:30:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of my three days MC. Back to school tomorrow and I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Projects are like shit. I wish I could stay home everyday, waking up at whatever time I like, reading my storybook morning, noon & night. It will be a long day tomorrow thanks to projects. Okay goodbye now, have to help my mom prepare dinner.

PS: I miss you mo. :)

2009-07-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

Happy Anniversary Love. <3

2009-07-03T00:36:00.003+08:00

If you have nothing nice to say, just shut your mouth.
If everything which comes out from your mouth is an insult, just shut your mouth.
If you don't think before you speak, just shut your damn mouth.

You claim that you were just joking but your tone told a different story. Don't be rude and comment unwanted comments. If you really have nothing nice to say, just shut that trap of yours. I may have horrible comments about you in my head, but I don't voice it out because I know it is mean and rude. You have been getting on my nerves ever since you and your bff tried to pry information from me about my personal life and turning it to gossip. Just go screw yourself.

I will repeat myself:
If you have nothing nice to say, just shut your mouth!

2009-06-23T23:46:00.005+08:00

School has started.
Projects are all gonna be due soon.
You are starting to irritate me a little.
How stupid can you be? Don't you understand English or does she have to speak to you in Chinese?
Transformers on Friday! Can't wait! :)
So for now, goodbye.

2009-06-21T22:59:00.001+08:00

Everyone changes.

School starts tomorrow. I can't wait to carry my new bag! :)

You are still my best friend.

PS: Regarding the previous post, "Its called karma, bitch!" was not referring to you. And I don't blame you for the entire friendship turning out as such.

2009-06-21T00:28:00.002+08:00

Its called karma, bitch!

Have you ever wondered why we have drifted so far apart?

The reason I drifted away was because I didn't know where I stand in our friendship anymore. The way I see things is that how can you have two best friends who are totally different in character.

Each time I go to your page, I see your tag board filled with her name. I suppose it makes me jealous to see yall so close, with the photos yall take, with the regular phone calls you make to her. It makes me seem out of place. It made me feel unwanted in the friendship hence I distanced myself from you.

Yall just seem so close that I do not know if I am still your best friend. At times, I think that you and her are talking about me behind my back. Maybe that is me being paranoid, but still, have you ever wondered why I feel like that?

Yall have common friends and everything, so that time when you came back, you spent more time with her than with me. Neglected, unwanted, me not being fun was how I felt. To me, I think that you see it as she is everything I'm not in the aspect of having a "fun" friend.

It hurts. It really does. It feels like I have been replaced. Well this is just my point of view from the way I see this whole friendship thing. Can you blame me for feeling as such?

2009-06-19T23:28:00.005+08:00

You guys just don't get how I feel. Thanks so much for "trying" to make it tomorrow. Just so you note, this month, there won't be any outing. Just wait for next month's outing.

How would you like it if you plan something and no one gets back to you if they are going or not. It may seem like a small matter, well but it isn't a small matter to me. Those who have camps, I understand. Those who are sick, I understand as well. However, those who can't be bothered or have whatever other stupid lame excuse to miss this outing, fuck off.

Don't expect me to change my date to next week because if I planned it this Saturday and you guys can't make it, I am not gonna change the date for the sake of yall. Furthermore, I do not want to keep chasing yall for an answer if yall will be going or not. I don't see why yall can't take the decency to just text me and let me know if yall can make it or not. Its not like I planned this outing last minute. I planned this slightly over a week ago & yet, yall cannot let me know if yall will be going or not.

Speechless. Thanks Marissa and Momo for listening to me vent! :)

PS: It was nice hearing a familiar voice today. Thanks Shaheeraa for calling! :)

2009-06-19T01:24:00.004+08:00

We upgraded Momo. :)

2009-06-16T01:01:00.008+08:00

I cut my hair! FOR FREE! Thanks Mom. :)

Now I'm down with the flu. Stupid!

Marissa is back from Indon. :)

I am planning this month's KC class gathering.
Date: 20th June 2009, Saturday
Venue: East Coast
Need any more info, feel free to text me. :)

Tim is super sweet! He bought fish soup for me and sent it to me via blades. :)
Thank you Tim-O! :)

2009-06-12T00:28:00.002+08:00

Finally bought my presentation clothes. :) I am so glad I backed out from AYG, if not, I would be so tired and shagged from it.

Shaheeraa was suppose to call today but we were both busy. Another time? :)

Had headache the entire day today! My mom and sisters are calling me Farmer Trish because I play Barn Buddy on Facebook. Hahaha!

Okay okay goodbye for now.

2009-06-07T17:30:00.003+08:00

Its so easy how our hands fit into each others so well
Its so easy to just talk to you
Its so easy how our lips are able to meet each others
Its so easy to just fall back into the comfort zone of where we once were
Its so easy to just pretend that everything is alright
Everything seems so easy,
But where does all this leave us at?

Pressure, none at all.

2009-06-05T23:27:00.010+08:00

Last paper today was alright. I am so glad its over. After the paper, Marissa and I went to do our brows. :) Went to meet Narnia for a while before heading to Ikea. And I ate alot, like alot! I plan to complete my IHT field trip report by tomorrow, hopefully I will be able to do it.

PS: Marissa, have a safe trip to Indon. Have fun! Take care. And yes, I will miss you! Hahha.

2009-06-04T23:32:00.001+08:00

What should I do?
Can someone please give me a sign.

2009-06-03T19:30:00.003+08:00

"The people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want."
It got me thinking about everything. It sucks. Really, it does.

Was suppose to study today but I got distracted by the computer and decided to continue watching my Greys Anatomy. Its been so long since I have watched it. School has been taking too much of my time. It sure felt great watching my McDreamy again! :)

Last paper on Friday, after that its the holidays! This year seems to pass by really quickly. Time really doesn't wait for anybody. So goodbye now. :)

2009-06-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

PRISON BREAK
PRISON BREAK
PRISON BREAK
IS ON NOW! :)

Family Day on Saturday was alright. Wasn't much fun. But the company was awesome! :)

Goodbye. My Wentworth Miller is on tv now! :)

2009-05-31T23:09:00.002+08:00

Mind your own fucking business assholes! All yall want from me is the juiciest gossip. Low life scums.

POM test tomorrow. I'm doomed!

Keagan was super cute today. He can hold his own milk bottle and he is less than 5 months old! :) And today, he tried to crawl but failed. Hahaha. Super cute.

Okay, goodbye world. I am going to try and study now.

PS: Marissa is such an awesome friend! Happy? Hahaha!

2009-05-29T21:00:00.008+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday Abang! :)

Was suppose to study in school today, but only managed to write down some notes. That was about it. Skipped F&B lecture today. Went out with Tim for dinner. :)

Going to see KC babes tomorrow during KC Family Day. Can't wait! :)

Mid sems are coming at the speed of light. Its too fast. Time, would you please slow down, just for my sake? Pretty please.

I want to get my skirts online! Wonder when Joey will order. I want to get my Levi's jeans. & I need to get my presentation clothes. Hoping to get all those during my holidays.

During the holidays, it won't be all fun and games for me. I have tons of projects/project reports to complete. Dangggg.

Stay focus Trisha. Focus!

2009-05-28T17:15:00.002+08:00

You failed the test I gave you. :(
I guessed as much that something was truly wrong.
It furstrates me because you have been doing so well until last night.
And yet, I'm glad you were not just putting on an act that everything was fine just to prove to me that you've change. Because then, your change would be fake.
Sorry. :(

2009-05-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

Current mood: Emotional

2009-05-23T01:10:00.003+08:00

I truely am afraid of going through the whole process again of picking myself up when I fall. But if I don't give it a shot, I know I would regret my decision. I would start thinking of all the 'what if'. I hate feeling this way. I want to put on a stong front in front of you but you know just what to say to make me think and feel the way I am feeling now. I guess it isn't a bad thing, as it is making me think.
Goodnight world.

2009-05-19T23:32:00.004+08:00

Went to watch Xmen with Tim today. Omgggg Hugh Jackman is hottt. And Ryan Reynolds is also super de-duper hot! Omgggg. But sadly they didn't show much of the good looking version of Reynolds. They just made his face look so.............. at the end. :( Okay I didn't really like the ending of the show. Ohh yes, luckily Tim and I stayed until the end of the credits as there was a bit more of the show! Hahaa. Only 6 smart people (including us) remained behind and managed to catch the final part of the show! Okay that made me happy as we were smart! Hahaa.

The walk home was funny! Hahaa. I knew your secret plan. I could sense you had something up your sleeve. Your face gave you away! "Trust me and close your eyes" HAHAHA! Stupiddddd! :)

Comm skills written assignment today. Hopefully I didn't go off topic. I am super irritated with Tiffy and her stupid dirty habit! Where are all the dictionaries?!?!?

IHT test on Thursday. Four lectures and I have yet to start on it. Thankfully, I just completed my F&B spec sheet also due on Thursday, so I don't have to worry about that. :)

Goodnight world! :)

2009-05-17T19:11:00.007+08:00

Hohoho. I'm finally done with my comm skills research. Like finally.

Shaheeraa told me something which made me rather happy. Its a secret! :) This week has been great for me. I have been happy and it has been good! :) Like I always say, smile and the world will seem like a better place. Hahaha.

Went for AYG training yesterday. It was super boring. On Friday, went for dinner with Tim. Heh heh. :) On the way to meet Tim after school, took photos with Sam. So fun! Hahaa.

Well, goodbye for now! :)

2009-05-14T22:09:00.003+08:00

Hohoho! I'm so happy today. Life is good! :) Its a secret why I am so happy. :) And furthermore, Kris Allen is in the final two in American Idol! That adds to my happiness! Hahaha! Omgggg, I just saw Jamal on tv. So hot! Omg omg omg! :) My day just keeps getting better and better!

I am feeling pretty tired! Ohh man, I have yet to research for my comm skills. Staying back in school tomorrow to continue on POM project. Hopefully, we will be able to complete it by tomorrow. Oh oh oh, I want to eat subway. But, I am glad I didn't eat subway for dinner today, because I would have puked it all out. Yes, gross I know, but I was feeling queasy just now and currently, I'm still feeling slightly queasy! Photos will be posted once I get them from Simple, Joey and Sam.

Till then, smile and the world will seem like a better place! :) Goodnight! :)

2009-05-12T22:29:00.002+08:00

School starts at 9am tomorrow. That means I can go to school with Marissa! :) And we both end at 4pm, but sadly I can't go home with her cos I will be heading to Simple's house to help them in the making of the cheesecake. And tomorrow night will be the htmig interview. I hate interviews.

I'm in the mood for taking photos. Lots and lots of photos! :) I'm still in the holiday mood while all the projects are being thrown at us. It sucks. It really does.

Well, please study hard. Hope all goes well for you. Take care of yourself. :)

2009-05-11T21:06:00.015+08:00

Well photos from Friday and Saturday are here!

Was suppose to take photos today in school, but we didn't take any. Had SUBWAYY for dinner with Sam, but there wasn't any oatmeal raisin cookie. :( And now, I am super sleepy. Tomorrow, we must take photos okayy!! :)

Happy belated birthday Narnia and Khai! :)

2009-05-08T23:36:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I do not know if you are my true friend. I feel that you treat others better than you treat me. The way you speak about them makes me feel so insignificant. I do not feel like you treat me as what you say I am to you. Sadly, I do not feel as tho I can turn to you in times of trouble.

I thought you changed. I guess by you making that remark, it just proves to me that you are still who you are. You didn't change. But I know you tried your best.

Its the 8th today. Ha!

During our three hour break today, we headed to Downtown. Had SUBWAYYY for lunch! :) Some bought balloons for one another. Some bought clothes from the sale! Great fun. The funniest thing happened today in school. We bought for Simple a dog balloon and she was making it "walk" around like a real dog. There were this two girls who actually thought that the dog was real! Hahaaa! It was super hilarious! Well will post the photos once I get them from Sam!

Till then goodbye.

.

2009-05-01T15:20:00.003+08:00

I saw you in the bus the other day. Could it be a sign? We don't usually see each other under such circumstances. It was really coincidental. Well, I shall not think too much about it.

Ohh yes, Happy Birthday Shane. (:

Omgosh. Each time I listen to Kris Allen sing, I will smile to myself. Okay, I find him really good. His voice is really....... Speechless. And he is good looking too! That is a bonus. (:

Want more American Idol videos? Click here.

2009-05-01T00:28:00.005+08:00

Today, Dawn, Vera, JieWei and I ate the jelly ice cream. Omgosh, it was super fun. I was so excited when the jelly could move lahh. It was really really super fun. Amusing even. Lecture was boring. All we did was talk and laugh. And there will be a make up lecture for my class on Saturday morning at NINE freaking am. Someone save me please.

I miss his smell. I miss kissing him. It is all because of this stupid cough of mine that I am unable to do those things. Each time when I come home from school or an outing, if he is at my place, he will make my day. At times, I can just stand by his cot without saying a word and he would start smiling and laughing. Its these little things that will make you feel so loved and happy. Keagan D'Angelo Lazaroo Felix, I miss you already!

2009-04-30T00:04:00.006+08:00

1H10

Katong Convent clan

Okay, I just blogged & saved my post. But since my computer was lagging, it is now gone! Well, met up with KC clan on Friday for dinner. Finally Fareesha came for the gathering. How much I miss her nonsense! School has been fun because the company is fun. (: So many things have happened within this past two weeks, things both good and bad. Ever since Marissa and I have different timetables, I have always been rushing to schoool. I miss Marissa giving me wake up calls. I want to go to school with you everyday and gossip!! Ohh wells, goodnightzxzxzxz.

2009-04-25T13:41:00.005+08:00

I have come to realise that recently, I have been busing myself with things. I rarely spend time alone thinking and reflecting on my actions. I will be either on the computer, watching tv, basically doing everything except thinking and reflecting. I guess it is because I am afraid of the hurt and sadness that will sink in once I think about the whole situation. When Shaheeraa spoke to me that day, the sadness and hurt suddenly hit me. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it cos I did not want to feel that way. In a sense, you can call me a coward. But I do not really care. When I was in the bus, I started thinking what a coward I am, running away from all these feelings. And I wondered how long this would continue. It definitely cannot last long. Soon, I would break down. I know it will eventually happen, but when I do not know.

I am so fed up as to why some people just cannot mind their own business. Do they find joy in knowing about other people's personal life, be it good or bad? Does it make their day to know the latest? Why are they such huge gossipers. I can't stand the fact that you went to the extend of asking him if anything was wrong. Like who the hell are you. Just because you want to find out the latest happenings, you stoop so low to that extend. This just gives me another reason to dislike you more. I know that you two were talking about me in a separate conversation. Compiling whatever information you two received, making assumptions, and coming to a conclusion. I am shocked by your actions. Seriously I am. And I am disappointed in you. You were my friend. At least I thought you were. And yet, I feel slightly sad for you guys. This just shows that you both do not have a life, at all. You both are just too engrossed in the lives of others that you do not have a life of your own. No life assholes.

2009-04-19T16:14:00.005+08:00

On the second day of orientation, I made friends!! I'm super happy. Thank goodness that my class has fun people. If not, I would die. Okay, I'm just super happy and grateful. 1H10! (: Katong Convent class gathering this Friday, can't wait. I still miss my secondary school friends. Hopefully, this monthly gathering will last. Singapore's weather is gettng worse and worse. It is so damn hot and humid. I cannot take it! Yesterday, went out with Simon and baby to town. I was so super de-duper sticky. I felt as if I ran a gazillion rounds around the track. That was how sticky I was. Patience is the key, but my patience is running low. Goodbye for now!

2009-04-16T21:20:00.003+08:00

Orientation was today. We had the chance to know our classmates. My class isn't too bad. Nice people, not so dead. BUT......... I have yet to find people whom I can click with. I miss KC. I miss my KC clan. Tomorrow if I'm able to find people whom I can click with, I would be so super de-duper grateful! Currently, I dread going to school. Hopefully, this will all change and I would actually look forward to school. Goodbye for now.

2009-04-02T23:03:00.005+08:00

simpang

sentosa

We as human beings tend to judge others. I have learnt that by judging others, it does no good to you nor anyone. In fact, you might eventually feel guilty for judging others. I guess when I look back and think, I feel guilty for being too judgemental. Sometimes when I'm on the MRT, I look at people and judge them. I tell myself that it is wrong, and yet I can't help myself but to continue judging. Sorry.

On a lighter note, school has ended for me, currently and finally I am having my holidays! However, school will resume on the 20th of april.

On Saturday, went to simpang with KC clan to makan. Had fun, though some people were once again missing.

Wednesday, went to sentosa with the school during our school discovery programme. We had a tour around some resort and the rooms were really breath-taking. The villa even had its own pool! We went on the sky ride and luge too all paid for by the school! (:

Currently, I'm thinking if I should go for emdd. I want to go yet I'm rather lazy.

I'll be going out with tim tomorrow! (: Finally we are going out after so long. Schedules have always been clashing and now that the both of us are on holiday, we can go out! I'll be going to buy storybooks tomorrow. Can't wait.

2009-03-13T16:32:00.001+08:00

i saw this coming.
i have no reason.

2009-03-12T21:57:00.001+08:00

presentation tomorrow! submission of children's story plus illustrations on tuesday. damn. i hate to draw. but i specialise in drawing stick man. end of month gathering with secondary school loves is confirmed! (: i miss shaheeraa.

2009-03-02T18:40:00.006+08:00

last saturday, we had our class reunion. hopefully it will be a monthly thing. we played charades, had pizza & had chicken wings which tasted great! the company was great too! we were missing fareesha & adda. school has been alright for me. long hours & lots of printing to do. toady, marissa & i tried to print in the free access lab. but but but we didn't know what to do. so in the end, i had to pay to get my things printed. ooh wells.

2009-02-15T22:31:00.002+08:00

school has started for me. not everything have been going smoothly for me tho. i try to look at both sides of the picture sometimes, but i end up getting so irritated as i feel it is a nonsense reason to be cacat about.
shaheeraa has gone back to australia since the beginning of february and how much i miss her. just meeting for meals & talking about bullshit. how i cherish those days!
i suddenly miss katong convent & the days when we would do silly things & i could just be myself & talk to my clique about anything under the sun. glad we might have something planned, tho its not confirmed yet.
i think i need to see a shrink.
well, sometimes i wonder why do people lie. there could be certain reasons.
1. they are afraid how the other party might react when the truth is out in the open
2. they are afraid of the truth themselves, hence they lie to themselves
3. they are protecting the other party for the hurt that has yet to come together with the truth
4. maybe lying is just in their nature.

2008-12-12T22:37:00.017+08:00

birthday '08

cruise

singapore flyer

graduation '08

these past few days have been rather packed for me. have been going out almost everyday. finally met shaheeraa last night. hopefully we will be able to meet again to just catch up alot more. i will post grad photos, cruise photos, birthday photos, & many more. i cant watch gossip girl season 2 episode 9 onwards! so irritating!!!

2008-12-07T19:38:00.001+08:00

my blog will be updated soon. i'll be posting all my photos from my birthday to graduation to everything.
goodbye for nowzzzz.

2008-09-17T18:50:00.002+08:00

prelims are over. my blog is dead. i wanna start watching all the tv programmes i wrote down. it'll take me forever to complete watching all of them. i can't wait till after olevels, when i can rot in front of the computer watching shows all day. school recently has been alright but sadly we are deprived of marking days. well studying starts tomorrow for me, i hope.
goodbyezzzzzzz.

2008-08-12T21:55:00.001+08:00

i got my f21 clothes today! they are all so nicee. had olevel chinese results today as well & had dpa results. today is a great day. get well soon baby. lovesssss.

2008-08-10T21:58:00.006+08:00

2008-06-22T17:11:00.002+08:00

school is starting in less than 24hours. homework is not done, & i'm not ready to start school yet. school reopening means that i've gotta start preparing for olevels. & i'm not ready for time to pass so fast. main point, i'm doomed.

well on a lighter note, managed to catch all the movies i wanted to watch, bought two storybooks, bought two tops, spent plenty of time with tim, & had plenty to eat.

i need to find the motivation to study.

goodbyezzzzz.

2008-06-14T18:38:00.018+08:00

8th june
happy 3 years anniversary love!
always & forever
<33333333333333

i'll let the photos do the talking. happy belated birthday arina & fareesha! :D

goodbyezzz

2008-06-06T23:02:00.004+08:00

happy belated birthday fareesha! lovesss. <3

sometimes, you just think back on the past
think of all the what if & what could have been.
the regular updates & the daily night talks are greatly missed.
now there is no such thing as regular updates nor daily talks,
& that is pretty understandable.

i know you don't like it
& you always feel that i treat him better than you,
but that is not true.
i love you with all my heart,
you are my best friend, my companion,
my world, my everything.
main point is that:
i love you like there is no tomorrow!
<333333333

my mom helped my cut my fringe, finally my fringe will be able to fall onto my face. watched made of honor last sunday. i can't wait to fully recover, till then, starbucks gotta wait. i have so far completed three books this holiday. goodbyezzz all.

2008-05-23T22:36:00.005+08:00

that face! HAHAHA.

days have been hectic. mother tongue intensive is driving me nuts. with tong not coming to school, it has been worse. chinese olevel is this monday. i feel the least prepared. gave school a miss today & finally i have the time to start studying biology.

went to watch iron man. whooo robert downey jr. is so so so so.............. :D i still wanna watch made of honor, what happens in vegas, drillbit taylor. & upcoming movies i wanna watch are sex & the city, narnia, hancock & many more. buuuut, i do not have the friggin' time!

photos from tuesday's lunch. happy belated birthday to you both. & overdued photos from tong. more photos to come soon.

i know the importance to study hard but i don't have the motivation to study. well my mid years are screwed. the way the teachers mark our papers are all fucked up. so not open minded. ooh wells. praise the lord they are not marking our olevels. if not we can all fail with flying colours.

david cook won american idol! whoooooo!!

life is short, so live it to the fullest.

2008-05-09T21:35:00.005+08:00

okay i didn't get my subway cookies just now cos some fucked up woman took the freaking last two cookies. & the fucking woman so so very irritating. fuck. forget about it.

gave school a miss today. studies chemistry & geography. school yesterday was boring shit. the day seemed so draggy. 2 years & 11 months tim. <3 another month till we touch 3 years. mwaaaaah. wednesday had socail studies, chinese & english oral.

i feel like drowning myself in romance storybooks now. its always like that. always during the exams period, i'll feel like reading storybooks. shit. yay i can finally sing!! :D

the best things in life are free

2008-05-02T22:01:00.003+08:00

okay photos are here. i'm feeling crap. my cough is fuck and so is my voice. wait till you hear how sexy my voice is. compared to this morning, my voice is worst than ever. i can't whisper & i'm straining to even talk. fuck. exams are fast approaching & i've yet to study. school is such a bore the only things that brightens my days are my friends & of course tim. school ends so friggin' late every single day, that when i reach home, i'm so exhuasted & fall asleep straight away. i feel like singing, but my vioce won't let me. fuck. on a lighter note, shaheeraa called me on the 30th april. i miss you shaheeraa. okay goodbye all readers.

2008-04-13T19:31:00.005+08:00

my blog is boring, it is dying.
i have been wanting to go running but tim never wakes up on time; i still love him.
i went to get my new mp3 on saturday; thanks tong for helping me check it out.
i need tuition but don't have the time for it.
help!
someone, please help me manage my time properly.
school tomorrow; someone save me.
i miss shaheeraa so much.
can't wait for december till i see her. :D
i love timothy.
goodbye.

2008-04-05T18:19:00.003+08:00

i just feel like blogging but i have nothing to say. tong, please send me the photos. going out with tim later. was suppose to go running this morning but didn't. school so far has been alright. tong hardly came so i was sitting by myself for practically the whole past two weeks. please do come to school so i have company once again. some stupid event is going on downstairs my block. some woman is singing at the top of her lungs some horrible chinese songs. omigosh! they are playing super old school songs. thank heavens i'm going out. i want an ipod. anyone wants to sell theirs at a cheap price? my stupid mp3 sucks. it can last for less than an hour!! how shit. was just friendster-ing the whole day today. i feel like just laughing non-stop. okay please shut up trisha. shall go & get ready to meet tim. byeeee.

2008-03-10T22:19:00.002+08:00

finished reading "a walk to remember". the book is so touching. cried & cried. & yet, there are parts when you could smile. watched step up 2 yesterday. it was nice but wasn't as nice as the first one. channing tatum is still way better. the new lead isn't good looking, but he has dimples. & he looks cute in only some scenes. all of their bodies are so softtt. i want my body to be like their's. so soft. i want to dance like them!! but i can't even dance, i'm as stiff as a stick. school tomorrow from 8am to 5pm. am so looking forward to it. :/ off i go to watch heroes now. goodbyeeeee.

2008-03-08T18:07:00.002+08:00

holidays are here. went to the library on friday. borrowed books! :D today was meet the parents session. no comments.

well when we were alone, i wanted to apologise to you. there were so many chance but i didn't take any of them. the word "sorry" couldn't come out of my mouth. each time i wanted to say it, it just got stuck. i even planned everything i wanted to say to you in my head. no words of apology nor explanation could come out. well i guess i'll just say whatever i wanted to say here. sorry if you feel its insincere, it is just that i can't do it face to face. words woun't spill out of my mouth.

so here it goes:
i'm sorry for making you feel like shit. sometimes, i feel that when you go with them, you're using us; but that is how i feel. there was a period of time when she didn't come to school & each day, you made me join in the conversations; you did not leave me out. you looked out for me. i thank you for that. when she came back to school, i still treated you nicely cos i didn't want you to think that i was using you. but while treating you nicely, i suddenly realised a change in your attitude towards me. so in turn, i became screwed up with you as well. i guess i was wrong cos i didn't bother to find out why the sudden change in attitude. & yet, when i was showing you attitude, you still treated me nicely. & i felt bad, real bad for treating you the way i have. so here i am apologising hoping to ease the tension.

hope you read this post.

2008-02-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i've blogged. many things have happened. have been busy with school, with the amount of homeworks the teachers pile us with.
nowadays, i can't see tim that often. we only meet on fridays, saturdays, & sundays. ooh how much i miss you love! <3
as i've said, so many things have happened.
at times, i'll be okay with you. & yet there are times when you act like a totally different person. when you are with people, i feel that you try to be who they want you to be. you aren't yourself. just be yourself, please. &&& please don't treat us like shit. we are your friends, share with us what is going on in your life. don't just tell one person all your stories & want to listen to all of our stories. its quite f*cked up.
as for you, please stop giving us that kind of looks. it is quite annonying. if you've got some kind of problem with us, please let us know. some say you are fake. well i don't really know. i still feel weird around you. we can't be as close as we used to.
you. we all stay near each other. instead of calling all of us to go together, i had to hear from her that you just invited her alone. & when we talk and i'm with my friend, you don't even bother giving me eye contact. instead, you made eye contact with my friend. when all three of us were there, you were mainly talking to my friend cos you didn't even make eye contact with me. when you said something, & i responded to it, you ignored me & pretended that you didn't hear me. what's this?

i can't trust anyone.
my bestfriend is a thousand miles away from me, i miss her. i hardly see my boyfriend these days, i miss him. no one else can replace these two people.
<3

2008-01-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

saturday

fountain day

on either thursday or friday, sharifah was willing to give me a dollar for me to tie my hair like the fountain people & go for recess. at the canteen, everyone was staring at me. i felt so weird!! hahaa. along the way, other people from both 501 & 502 started placing their bets on me. daring me to go all the way home with that messy fountain hair. some gave me money to make my hair messier than it already was. total for that day, i earned about $5 plus $6. supper funnyy.

on saturday, headed to np with marissa, narina, & fareesha. it was super tiring cos it was uphill. after that, met tim. wanted to buy jeans but i didn't like the ones i tried. then we headed to raffles city to eat & bought part of tract's present. then headed to marina, bought a top for myself! :D & bought the other half of tracy's present. lino told me the wrong size and the thing was too big! :/

on sunday was tracy's birthday! happy birthday sister. you are OLD! :D

monday, school was ewww. had pe.
tuesday, school was ewww. tong didn't come.
today, school was ewww. cos i just don't like to go to school.

2008-01-13T19:58:00.000+08:00

on friday, went to novena church for some retreat. then sharifah, fareesha, tong, daphne, sab, atiqah, ada & aishah headed to tp open house. there weren't anymore free tp bags by the time we reached. came home with sabrina. after that, had to go to godma's house for debbie's birthday party. was superrrr tired.

on saturday, was suppose to meet tong, fareesha & sharifah to go to nyp open house. in the end, tong was malas & fareesha didn't turn up. sharifah & i bumped into tina & sofia at the mrt station. so the four of us headed to nyp. nothing much there, pretty boring. it didnt really appeal to me. then i headed back for my award ceremony. was suppose to go out for dinner with tim but he couldn't make it. so went out with my family instead. shaheeraa called me as well. it felt just like the old times. the gossipping!!!! :DDDD

today, went for mass. was suppose to go out with tim but i cancelled on him. went to lagoon for lunch with my family. came home & watched hairspray. did a little bit of homework.

well thats about it. back to school tomorrow. gotta go & complete my english holiday homework now. bye.

2008-01-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

day one of the retreat thingy. overall, it was alright. games were fun, talks were BORING. however, some parts of the talk was pretty useful. another long day tomorrow. i'm shagged. shall go & watch the 9 oclock show now. byeeee.