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trisha juliana lazaroo
8th november 1991
eurasian
catholic
Saturday, December 16, 2006

after everything , i thought i had moved on .
till i found out you liked my close friend ,
i then realised that i've yet to get over you .
we fought , we augred .

then that one night , that one phone call made me all soft ,
i believed what you said at first ,
making me feel loved & high .
but later , everything seemed a lie .
all those horrible emotions , crying nights , lonely days ,
everything started coming back .

when i'm with you ,
you make me believe everything you say .
you make me believe that i'm wanted by you .
but once we're away from each other ,
i tend to doubt you .
i've tried telling myself over & over again ,
"everything he says to me is true . he still loves me" ,
but eventually , i still have my doubts .

people have been telling me to get over you ,
but i can't !
i try & try , despite everything ,
still unable to let go .

i know i still love you ,
only you would know if you still love me .
feelings can't be controlled .
if you like someone , you can't control your feelings .
so if you still like her ,
stop controlling yourself to not like her .
cos deep down , you still like her .

sometimes i tend to wonder if i'm being used as a spare tyre .
just because you know that i still love you & i get soft easily ,
hence , when you have no one , you come running back to me .

i still love you !


this entry is shit . i'm like just letting out almost everything . i still have loads kept inside me . i'm glad that i have friends who actually care about me . shaheeraa , ally , sabrina , shane , peter , grace , chris , sheryl , gerald , yvette , nevin & plenty more . thanks for being there for me in both good times and bad . thanks for the advices / talks you people gave me . you are the ones who have seen me at my worst and my best ! (: love you guys loads !