Unspoken Words.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sometimes I wonder,
Does this not mean anything to you?
And I ponder,
Don't I mean anything to you?
 
And so I think over,
How do you do it?
How do you move on?
How do you not care?
 
I am holding on,
Holding on for dear life. 
But this cant be a one sided thing,
If not what's the point of trying. 
 
Even though it hurts,
I've sucked it up.
There's only so much I can take,
I've reached my maximum, the rest will be fake. 
 
Everything you've thrown at me,
I've taken it all.
There are bound to be times I fall,
Of which you just leave me be,
Instead of picking me up.
It crushes me, oh yes, it crushes me. 
 
I've tried,
Tried to change to make you happy
Tried to change to make us work. 
But it isn't enough. 
 
Nothing is enough.
Nothing is good enough.
Nothing I do is good enough.
I am not good enough. 
 
Things you don't do with me,
You do with them.
You make excuses when asked by me,
But you're obliging Tim when asked by them. 
 
After 6 years of asking you to go with me,
You make all sorts of excuses.
But the moment she asks you to go with her and her family,
You say a big YES.
And the picture wasn't pleasant,
Cos her boyfriend was missing,
And you were there to take his spot. 
And I think so far, this hurts the most.
You've really outdone yourself.
 
You told me you couldn't live without me. 
You said you love me.
You promised me always & forever.
Do you, did you mean it? Or were they all lies?
 
Do I come before your friends?
Cos I can't see it.
Am I the most important person in your life?
Cos I can't feel it.
 
Its sad how you can choose your friends over me. 
It hurts that you make them seem more important than me. 
It breaks my heart to know how little I mean to you.
And it breaks me to know that this 6 years meant nothing, nothing to you.
 
You said I'm square
And liked the smell of my hair.
But I'm not thinking squarely,
It's you who've crossed the line, undoubtedly. 
 
You made this an ultimatum,
Where its your way or the highway
I've given in all I can,
Yet it's still coming to an end.
 
What you don't know is that...
I want you
I want us
I miss you
I miss us
 
I'm willing to do anything to make this work,
But are you?
Cos now you're choosing your friends over me,
And its crushing me. 
 
And now, it hurts.
It really does.
But I would give anything up,
Just to be with you in your arms telling me we'll get through this...
 
Together.
Because we're always & forever.
Because we're Haley & Nathan.
Because we belong together.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

You know how much I hate that company. HATE, is the word. And yet, you're once again going back to them. We've had numerous fights about the work place and the people there, but time and again you go back there? What so good about that place? You work with bitches and assholes. Does that make it a good and cool working environment to work at?

Next, you've always said "the weekends are our time." and soon, you'll be working during weekends so I guess it won't be our time anymore and that you'll just work "our" weekends away. When I find part-time jobs, I try not to touch our weekends and find Monday to Friday jobs. But you don't bother at all. That time when I had to do my project during the weekends, you were not happy about it cos you said it took up our time and my group and I should have better managed our time. And now you are going to work all through the weekends. So when would you have the time to spend time/go out with me?

Last time you told me that you'd talk to me about this company, if you would ever go back and work for them again. But guess what?! Obviously you didn't even bother to mention it to me. I know we not be together now, but it would still be nice to be kept in the loop. When I had a job offer, I immediately told you about it. And now when you are going for an interview for this fucked up company, you don't even bother to let me know until I offered you to work with me tomorrow. You're just a screwed up asshole. And to think that I was really hoping that we'd get back together but now with "that" back in the picture, I don't think we'll be able to work out.