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trisha juliana lazaroo
8th november 1991
eurasian
catholic

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

its me not them .

ive came to a conclusion that its me & not the people around me .
ive always thought it was them & i was neh at them for that .
but today , ive actually realised that its me .
& im neh at myself for being neh at them .
do you get me ?

boys are such dickheads .
they lead girls on & when they have had enough ,
they leave us dangling while they go & have their fun .
dont they know that we are human too .
& its wrong to lead someone on then later leave them to dangle .
its wrong ! its wrong ! its wrong !

Monday, January 29, 2007

pretty ladies !
tong & lazaroo (:
darlings (:
friends ! (:
my ladies (:angel & nicole <3
family ! <3
grandma , grandpa & tracy !
my pretty confirmation cake !
grandma & pa with cousins (:
me ! (:
un-glam me :/ tiffy , mommy & i
godma & i <3 tiffy darling & i <3


firstly , shaheeraa is gone ! ): she is back in australia . when she was in s'pore , didnt get to spend much time with her . hmmm , lets hope that she is an angel then only will she be able to come back to s'pore end of this year for two months !

didnt go to school today as last night had confirmation . was super tired . took plenty of photos ! hmmm , can someone plan an outing with our con class ? like maybe a bbq , a chalet or anything ! will miss all the nonsense during cat class . made new friends , kept old friends . (: enjoy the photos !

compared the photo you took with me & a photo you took with her . body language says that you are interested in her & via versa . but in the photo you took with me , it seems one sided . like as tho im the one interested in you & you're like whatever with me . ive been comparing & studying the photos and no matter how hard i try & look at the positvie side of the photos , i dont see any good points about it !

tell me im the one .
tell me that its me whom you love .
make it clear to me .
if not , let me go .

Saturday, January 27, 2007

didnt meet shaheeraa ;
didnt meet timothy .

boys are dumb creatures . there should be a manual on "how to treat girls right" & "wants & needs of a girl" . so these manuals can actually teach boys what to do to make their girl happy .

you always can do things which i cant . when i get cacat cos of smth you did , you get neh at me . but when you get cacat about smth SMALL that i did , you'd make a big fuss . im super fedup with it all . you control me like no one's business .

please dont control me anymore !
im begging you .
i still love you . <3


check out this song , its super nice . "the acoustic song" by the red jumpsuit apparatus .

"when i see your smile
tears roll down my face
i can't replace.

and now that i'm strong i have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
and i know ill find deep inside me, i can be the one.
i will never let you fall
ill stand up for you forever
ill be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

seasons are changing and waves are crashing
and stars are falling all for us
days grow longer and nights grow shorter
i can show you i will be the one.

i will never let you fall
i'll stand up for you forever.
i'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

cause youre my
youre my
my true love
my whole heart
please dont throw that away.

cause im here, for you
please dont walk away and
please tell me you'll stay, stay...

use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and i know i'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray.

i will never let you fall
i'll stand up for you forever
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven ."

oooh the song is NICE . its five plus now & i've yet to meet shaheeraa . will i even get to meet her today ? hmmm was suppose to go out with tim tonight but he has training . /: but its alright , i'll be seeing you tomorrow ! (:

shaheeraa is leaving tomorrow , tomorrow !
super fast .
im sad . ):
boo .

Friday, January 26, 2007

im feeling super sleepy now . my eyes are heavy , slowly closing . today , i finally went for sjab after ten years ! had to wear full uniform so cacat . was looking like a mad woman in the morning , carrying so many things . was moody in class , got cacat with everything .

after sjab , rushed to church for confession with tong . we were two idiots walking super fast with full hands . ooh i confessed about everything & after confession , i felt lighter . a sense of forgiveness ? it was quite cool . & while praying , i was just thinking about stuffs & started tearing . bleahh !

after confession , nevin took ally dear home ! hahah . super funny ! (: tim , paula , tong , & i walked paula to tim's place then the three of us headed to the bus stop . tong , as usual , cabbed home . tim sent me home ! (:

shaheeraa is leaving this sunday . i dont want you to go darling . can you stay here ? oooh i really wanna meet you for the last time ! lets hope we'll meet tomorrow . -fingers cross .

Thursday, January 25, 2007

today , had lunch with tong tong & sabrina . long johns . now im so sick of long johns . stupid math teacher made me stand thru-out his whole freaking two periods because i didnt bring my book ! neh lah . luckly today i brought my jacket to school . it was super cold since morning & i was wearing it practically the whole day . walk in the rain with tong & sabrina .

it was surprising that for my chinese compo i had the highest ! haha . but kai boon helped me write the thing . so it was actually her work not mine . heh ! but still i topped the class . lalala . XD

gosh neh was being a neh . couldnt she tell that we didnt want her following us ? i think we made it kinda obvious changing the venue of where to eat . she even wanted to go to the extend as to eat ice cream for lunch ! then tong and i kept on singing this :

"get out , leave right now
its the end of you & me
its too late & i cant wait for you to be gone."

it was super funny . couldnt stop laughing . yet she couldnt get the picture & still followed us for lunch . neh.

yesterday , went to plaza sing with tim . i finally settled all my confirmation stuffs . got my earrings . then later went to chuch for choir practice . it wasnt that bad . its been long since ive gone for practice . & last night , i nearly lost my voice . it sounded super cacat .

thank you tim for following me ! (:

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

tong tong , me & kitty XD
groupie (:
the wind in our faces
tong tong (:
oooh kitty ! (:
marissa ! (:
us (:
nehneh friends (:



today , went sentosa for learning journey . it was fun . but the school cheated my feelings . we were suppose to go to the merlion , but in the end we didnt have enough time & headed back to school . thru-out the whole trip , i was looking forward to the merlion & in the end , that was the thing we missed ! now i shall wait for photos from my lovely friends & upload it . pictures are here ! (:

hmmm , tomorrow going town after school with tim to get my confirmation stuffs , after that , i'm finally going for choir practice ! after three long weeks . (: my internet connection is screwed ! it cant connect . msn cant sign in , web page cant open .

today daphne was NEH . dont worry babe . its not the end of the world ! if amelia was really into you , she would reply your msges . if she doesnt , then you know that whatever your sister told you that time was true . she doesnt deserve you ! hmph .


but if i let you go ;
i will never know ;
what my life would be holding you close to me ;
will i ever see you smiling back at me ;
ooh yeah how will i know ,

if i let you go.

well , today daphne & I started singing songs tho i didnt really know the lyrics . so i just nah nah nah-ed away ! haha . but it was fun . i dont feel like going to school tomorrow ! but damn i must go to school in order to go out with tim (which i want to) .

i want you to want me ;
i need you to need me .

Sunday, January 21, 2007

im feeling super shit now ;
everything isnt going the way i expected ;
i've got church tomorrow & have no mood ;
im trying so hard to be understanding but somehow i cant ,
there is this horrible feeling in me ;
a feeling where i wanna cry , scream .

this is just how im feeling inside tho there is alot more not expressed .

Saturday, January 20, 2007

happy birthday tracy ! (:

today , i've got plenty to do . i've gotta help my mom with the kitchen stuffs , sweep the floor , clear the clothes . plus i've got to complete all my homework . bleahh . i've yet to complete my geog holiday homework & its due this monday . can someone help me research ? please , pretty please ?

i want to run away from school . its stressful . & each time i go to school , i come back with a headache . maybe its due to me sitting too infront ! hmmm . tomorrow is part two of confrontation . & i have no idea why but i'm feeling kinda scared . whats happening to me .

tomorrow , tim asked me out , shaheeraa asked me out , and ally asked me to go for her class party . i want to meet shaheeraa & i want to meet tim at the same time ! hmmm , i dont really care about the party . it'll be super weird if i go anyways .

shaheeraa is leaving next week ! it seems like its just yesterday that she came back to singapore ! so far i only met her i think three times ? thats super cacat ! its always either im too busy or she is too busy . our times always clashes ! boo .

Thursday, January 18, 2007

tomorrow there is social studies test . im so gonna fail ! (: how fun is that . hmmm , homework is piling ! there is homework practically for all the subjects . im slowly going kuku . i have no time for anything else except for homework , tuition , extra lessons !

i've gotta complete my geog holiday homework & lit by monday ; math , chinese & bio all by tomorrow ! oooh gosh .

comfirmation is around the corner and i've yet to get my top . i've got a pretty skirt tho i wanted a dress .

today , im feeling super irritated with everyone & everything . like if someone were to irritated the shit out of me now , i'll so blow ! great & tiffy so had to irritate the shit out of me & i screamed at her . and guess what i got scolded for that .

now please dont get cacat with me for talking to him . cos it wouldn't help anything . i'll just blow at you & not talk to you tonight again .

why am i in such a bad mood ? could it be due to me being tired ? or could it be due to stress . or maybe im just being neh & getting irritated .

better start studying now ! (:

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

i'm feeling bored at home . well didn't go to school today as i puked in school yday & had a fever last night . hmm but now , i'm feeling all fine ! (: later there is choir practice . thinking of whether i should go . daphne also didnt go to school . heh as both of us were feeling neh in school yday . its some stupid virus going arnd . take care you peeps !

hmm , this sunday , there is part two of confronting her . part one happened last sunday . it went quite cacat . she cried cos maybe she was feeling guilty . i dont know . but she wasnt even intending to tell me about it . hmph . i'm still freaking piss with her .

i shall complete all my homework today . & maybe if i have the time , study a little . school so far have been quite alright i guess . but homework keeps piling ! one subject after another . gosh .

after last sunday , i could feel the tension between us . which was yucky . but look on the bright side , now you know exactly how i feel . after me just letting everything out . but i still dont get it , why did you cry ? were ally & i that fearful ? we didnt shout at you with the top of our voices . or maybe you were just guilty . guilty that you were not even intending to tell me ?

i don't think things would ever be the same as it used to , with me opening up to you . i doubt it will happen again because i dont trust you anymore . so don't expect me to tell you whatever is going on in my life cos i don't intend to tell you anymore !

Sunday, January 14, 2007

stop saying that you love me cos its a lie
if now you're ending it , then fine
i may still love you , but you wouldn't care
i admit , i'm in the wrong from expecting too much
but like you said maybe now its too late
cos whats done is done.

maybe me being all nehneh is due to pms ;
maybe its due to the stress and fustration
i've been having with HER ;
maybe its cos of my studies ?

maybe it really ends here
i think you've had enough of my nonsense
maybe now , you would want to go out "fishing"
well , have fun .

i just want to thank you ;
thankyou for teaching me to love
thankyou for being a listening ear
thankyou for all your nonsense
thankyou for making my life exciting
thankyou for loving me .

thanks to russel , he actually managed to knock sense into me
but i guess its too late
but this has been a learning experience for me
you've taught me ALOT .

i'm sorry i didnt realise it eariler
but i cant help it
i needed someone to actually knock sense into me
well i guess he did it 15 minutes too late .

you want you can easily ask me back
but its cos of your ego ! /:
maybe after tonight ,
you might actually realise that your ego isn't important
& things might be different

but it would be nice if you actually realised that
then you would ask me back ?
ooh gosh , thats just wishful thinking trisha !
go away . stop thinking .



" i'm the one who wants to be with you
deep inside i hope you feel it too
waited on a line of greens & blues
just to be the next to be with you . "

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

i've got so much of mixed emotions inside of me . two people are making my life screwed ! one is nehneh & the other one is nehneh the second !


to nehneh : why are you doing this ? when i ask you a question , cant you just say you talked to him ? why must you lie & leave out that part . do you know how much this is affecting me ? well , its affecting me a whole lot ! how would you feel if i actually did the same back to you ? you would feel shit , hurt , upset . you'd feel like slapping me . well thats how i feel about you . stop making my life worst . actually , i was starting to be alright with you , till i asked you THAT question and you lied . which made everything come back again . you just had to lie . why ? isit so difficult to tell me that you talk to him on the phone ? unless you're hiding something thats why you're not saying anything about the phone calls .


to nehneh the second : i heard from people what you did . you didnt stand up for me like how i wanted you to . some b*tch called me names & you agreed with her . how can you not stand up for me ? how can you agree with her ? that night , you came home , called me and made noise to me about that b*tch & today i hear a different story . im hurt because i keep thinking , how can you not stand up for me when someone calls me names . instead you just say "true" & agree with that b*tch . do you know that it hurts me so bad . this hurts me worst than anything else . & im here having to pretend that im my normal , happy , cheery self .


great just great . my life sucks . my stomach is in a knot . i feel the lump in my throat . & i have to pretend that im all good . i dont know what to do anymore .


school is a b*tch ,
b*tch is being a b*tch ,
nehneh is being a b*tch ,
nehneh the second is being a b*tch too !

Saturday, January 06, 2007

school is horrible ! i miss my holiday life . holiday hmwk is drving me kuku . now at the moment , my brain isnt functioning properly ! i'm feeling super irritated now . maybe its cos im feeling tired . ahhh . homework is slowly piling up . everything in my life at the moment is bleahh .

are you my true friend ;
if you are , then why are you saying nonsense about me ;
can you stop all this once & for all ;
its pissing the shit out of me ;
each day i see you in school , i get more irritated .

why did you tell him that i was moving on ;
why did you tell him that im more interested in some other guy ;
why did you tell him that i dont care about him ;
why did you tell him to move on ;
why why why ?

do you know how much all these are bothering me ;
its affecting me real bad ;
but you cant seem to see it ;
my life doesnt just revolve around one person , unlike you ;
i need answers to why you did such things ;
at the moment , i cant trust you anymore .

Monday, January 01, 2007

ALTAR B.A.C ! XD

ally ally . you made that up ! altar Boys Are Cows . haha . yday was her last day with the choir . gosh ally darling , i'll miss your nonsense and all your venting . hhaha . ooh gosh you nearly made me cry . i felt the lump in my throat which means i was about to cry ! & now you tag my blog with all those touching things . ahhhh . i wanna cry and hug you ! but dont worry i will still fill you in with all the inside gossips .


I LOVE YOU ALLY !

alicia (: im inspired. says:
trisha dear, i love you. i rlly do. youve been such an amazing friend. i dont know how you do it but you rlly show to others how sincere you are. you walk around with open arms, always welcoming others and helping others. youre so simple on the inside but so many things make you all hazy and make your life seem so complicated. youre one of those whom i look at and i try so hard to be like. thankyou

the starting of this post is like mainly about ally . i will miss you like crazyy ! im like reading what you tagged me over and over again and i wanna cry !

HAPPY NEW YEAR ! (:

hmmm , its the new year . i hope this year would be fruitful .

new year's resolution :
1) study hard (three points for n levels XD)
2) i have no idea .